i moved to nashville for a reason. my reason was different than god's reason. i didn't know that until just recently. he knows me well enough to have brought me here letting me think it was to do what i wanted, when the whole time he wanted me to learn how easy it is to take ten steps back and need him no matter how much fun i'm having. i tend to be pretty prideful about my home, church, community, etc. my attitude has changed. i now know that i need accountability, and i need the community i had and i am humbled by it. i haven't had a clear word from god about any of the choices i've made in the past few years. this doesn't mean he's not speaking. today i spoke to my good friend trina, my old roommate in seattle. she asked me where god wanted me to be. i didn't think i'd have a clear answer. i didn't know where god wanted me to be, but without thinking, i said, "in community". and that was it. right there i knew that i needed to get to a place where i am inclined to grow closer to god and the people around me.
nashville is a great town. plenty of people call it home for a reason. it is not for me.
i do not feel defeated or embarrassed. the reason i moved here did not work out for all kinds of reasons. if anyone is disappointed in me, or if they want to say, "i told you so", then they don't matter. the great dr. seuss once said, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
this chapter in my life has ended. i'm ready to come home.
i have met some really incredible people here, and i will miss them so much. i will be back to nashville often.
i could go on and on.
stay tuned.
8 comments:
well said lady. sometimes we need to leave and do what we think we want to realize it.
it will be nice to have you back :)
I'm so glad you're following where God wants you to go, and listening to His Spirit. I'm sure the people in Nashville are going to miss you a ton. And your friends here in Seattle will be blessed with you again!
i'm gonna miss ellen. :/ but I know you are doing what is right... maybe we'll just rekindle our elove when you move away? ha ha
I love your quote !! It is very true those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind !!! Sometime you need a moment to find yourself :) I myself can't wait to get home in a few weeks :) you need the support of friends and family :) and you have ALOT of people who love and adore u! Take care and safe travels back home :)
Ellen, you are a brave one for venturing this far, and a brave one for heading back.
And you now know what so many others don't know: that you can find people to love and people to love you wherever you go.
Nashville will be less without you, but Seattle will be more. And I hope to join you back there one day. :) xoxo
Another step in the journey. You have more and more to be excited about!
this doesn't mean you're getting out of coming to visit me in NY.
and a friend of Dr. Seuss said something like this when dealing with critics, "Don't explain, don't complain." IOW do what is best for you, and pay no attention to the opinions of those around you.
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