everyone knows this is nowhere

I think I'd like to go
back home
And take it easy
There's a woman that
I'd like to get to know
Living there

Everybody seems to wonder
What it's like down here
I gotta get away
from this day-to-day
running around,
Everybody knows
this is nowhere.

Everybody, everybody knows
Everybody knows.

Every time I think about
back home
It's cool and breezy
I wish that I could be there
right now
Just passing time.

Everybody seems to wonder
What it's like down here
I gotta get away
from this day-to-day
running around,
Everybody knows
this is nowhere.

Everybody, everybody knows
Everybody knows.

but i don't wanna.

my friend jonny is taking over my rent and moving in for june and july. so thankful for this.

i need to pack up my stuff and be out of here this weekend. i just got home from work and don't want to pack. at all.

making plans via facebook with my friend stephanie, i see this:


very sneaky.

i don't want far. only near.

i moved to nashville for a reason. my reason was different than god's reason. i didn't know that until just recently. he knows me well enough to have brought me here letting me think it was to do what i wanted, when the whole time he wanted me to learn how easy it is to take ten steps back and need him no matter how much fun i'm having. i tend to be pretty prideful about my home, church, community, etc. my attitude has changed. i now know that i need accountability, and i need the community i had and i am humbled by it. i haven't had a clear word from god about any of the choices i've made in the past few years. this doesn't mean he's not speaking. today i spoke to my good friend trina, my old roommate in seattle. she asked me where god wanted me to be. i didn't think i'd have a clear answer. i didn't know where god wanted me to be, but without thinking, i said, "in community". and that was it. right there i knew that i needed to get to a place where i am inclined to grow closer to god and the people around me.

nashville is a great town. plenty of people call it home for a reason. it is not for me.

i do not feel defeated or embarrassed. the reason i moved here did not work out for all kinds of reasons. if anyone is disappointed in me, or if they want to say, "i told you so", then they don't matter. the great dr. seuss once said, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

this chapter in my life has ended. i'm ready to come home.

i have met some really incredible people here, and i will miss them so much. i will be back to nashville often.
























i could go on and on.

stay tuned.

the boomboomkats

steph, mitch and i had some whiskey and recorded ourselves hanging out in his studio.

thus, mitch created this:

debut single from the boomboomkats

balentine's day.

I've been going and going and going, spending most of my nights in friends' beds. I worked at the flower shop yesterday and today and it totally wore me out. It was fun, but the constant flow of men in love coming in and out of the shop was a bit tiring. I am never usually one to be "anti" Valentine's day, but I can't decide what's worse: working at a flower shop during Valentine's day, or not having a Valentine.

I'd really like a Valentine. Not on Valentine's day necessarily... but any other day. Maybe next Tuesday, or sometime mid-April. Maybe if I didn't smell like 3 Crow all the time, I could find a boyfriend. Wink.

Today a drunk, homeless old man hugged me, said, "Happy Valentine's Day, Baby" in my ear, and kissed my neck. Ew.

I am going to Princeton and New York in two weeks to visit Les. I really miss him, and I've never seen New York. The tickets were real cheap, and I figured I'll never live this close to NY again. Hooray.

For those of you who haven't seen the kitten video:




Also, remember Capucine? She's growing up!


Tongue twister from Capucha on Vimeo.

crotch-plowed by the boss.

I am happily over the homesick hump. Remember when I said that I was right on target with being homesick about 2-3 months into the move? Well after making detailed plans to come home in April, things started changing. I realized that I am making good relationships here, and have started to really love sweet tea. Now I am consumed with what my future will look like here... and that really depends on the job I find here. I have been looking and looking, and making do with what I can find. Babysitting, mostly. I recently found out that Blood:Water Mission is hiring an Administrative Assistant. BWM is a very cool organization that basically exists to promote clean water in Africa, and to reduce the impact of AIDS/HIV there. It was started and still run by Jars of Clay. The job description is exactly what I've been looking for, and it is a VERY special bonus that it is such a wonderful company. I applied this morning, and I know I have people praying that I land this job. I have been pacing the kitchen.

www.bloodwatermission.com




Yesterday was the Superbowl. I have never cared about football, or even the commercials during the game. Yesterday I was with a bunch of people who didn't care about the game either, but really wanted to watch Bruce Springsteen at half-time. I watched, and I'm glad I did.

...because this happened.

nein bed bugs in '09

The bug bites are aplenty. I am so glad to finally be out of the house I was in for the last 3 months. I loved the people I was living with, but the house was really bad news. Mice and bed bugs. Miserable. After losing my job at the Cocoa Tree, my friend Melanie said I could move in with her and her parents in Franklin. I jumped at the chance. It's so nice of them to let me stay in their house and eat their food. I hope I can do something really nice for them. In the meantime, I am having a hell of a time finding a job. I even went to the mall. The MALL. So please be praying that God provides a job for me. It just has to happen. It has to. I have bills that are due.

My good friend Victor Huckabee came over tonight and brought Seabass. I made a little video of him just before he fell asleep on my giant butt. Oh, that's another thing. There's an eliptical at Melanie's house! I was on it for 40 minutes today. If you know me at all, you know that is pretty spectacular.



Hooray for a clean, warm house. Please don't take those things for granted. I know I have a whole new appreciation for the little things now.