but i don't wanna.

my friend jonny is taking over my rent and moving in for june and july. so thankful for this.

i need to pack up my stuff and be out of here this weekend. i just got home from work and don't want to pack. at all.

making plans via facebook with my friend stephanie, i see this:


very sneaky.

i don't want far. only near.

i moved to nashville for a reason. my reason was different than god's reason. i didn't know that until just recently. he knows me well enough to have brought me here letting me think it was to do what i wanted, when the whole time he wanted me to learn how easy it is to take ten steps back and need him no matter how much fun i'm having. i tend to be pretty prideful about my home, church, community, etc. my attitude has changed. i now know that i need accountability, and i need the community i had and i am humbled by it. i haven't had a clear word from god about any of the choices i've made in the past few years. this doesn't mean he's not speaking. today i spoke to my good friend trina, my old roommate in seattle. she asked me where god wanted me to be. i didn't think i'd have a clear answer. i didn't know where god wanted me to be, but without thinking, i said, "in community". and that was it. right there i knew that i needed to get to a place where i am inclined to grow closer to god and the people around me.

nashville is a great town. plenty of people call it home for a reason. it is not for me.

i do not feel defeated or embarrassed. the reason i moved here did not work out for all kinds of reasons. if anyone is disappointed in me, or if they want to say, "i told you so", then they don't matter. the great dr. seuss once said, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

this chapter in my life has ended. i'm ready to come home.

i have met some really incredible people here, and i will miss them so much. i will be back to nashville often.
























i could go on and on.

stay tuned.